Today was a little overwhelming. I think I spent at least ten hours trying to write a good three-page essay for US Foreign Policy, and I don't even know what "good" was supposed to be. Fingers crossed that whatever my hands managed to wring from my brain was at least C-material, because that thing was 30% of my final grade. I like that class because I feel like it's challenging, but I hate the fact that everyone is older and more knowledgeable, has had the professor before, and in general makes me feel like a total ignoramus.
I have a presentation on Wednesday and a 12-page essay due on Thursday that I haven't started yet. Deep breaths.
Tonight is a little break, though, I guess... at least a couple of hours worth, since I was either in the library or in class from 7 am this morning until 4:30 in the afternoon. I walked around in the rain, talked to Kevin back home and my mother, who is actually in California (same time zone for once) visiting her sister.
I've been listening to Gulag Orkestar all night, imagining bomb shelters and Eastern European summers and toy pianos abandoned on less-than-picturesque beaches with gulls in the skies above. I am ready for summer and slightly craving oppressive heat, the kind that makes it so that you no longer give a fuck what you're wearing and just want to be as close to naked as possible.
I need space to think. I can feel my brain trying to check out, and my fight-or-flight instinct inclining more towards flight, but I keep reminding myself it's a little too early.
it's nowhere near that hot yet (it's a paltry mid-sixties today, and threatening to rain), but you are more than welcome to come here and be as close to naked as possible. :) ;)
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